To Maria my estranged

oft times I wonder,
and in my solitude I ponder,
thoughts of you fill
my heart and soul.  

I wonder how you are faring,
whether you are alright;
I  worry if you are distressed
or struggling with life's mess
with a facade of a smile
as you are wont to do.  

I wonder if in your busy schedule,
you pause to entertain a thought of me;
and if you do,
whether you allow the thought to linger,
and if you do,
does it make you frown or smile.  

I wonder if you remember the good times, the memories of the laughter
and the companionable silence;
the melodies hummed and the music swayed to
remember our dance in the middle of the night,
the nights of storytelling,
and the days of giggling over nothing,
and our song?  

in the faces of women I see you,
in gestures and inflections;
in the arms of another I feel you,
in the kisses I taste you and
in the deepest crevices of pleasure
I am acutely aware of you;
gliding over the waves of ecstasy
I hear you calling to me.  

why ever did we allow things get so bad, letting little things slowly erode the bond
we painstakingly built and
leave nothing to hold on to
not even friendship from where everything else started?  

I wonder if things could be set straight again, can broken glass ever be made whole again? can broken egg be mended?
can spilt milk be recovered?
or yet can a new bond be formed again rising not out of the ashes of the old
but on new earth, freshly ploughed and readied for the new seed of friendship?
I wonder......
I wonder.....