I Am Gay!

I am coming out

Not caring what you think about me

Your smiles or frown

It makes no difference

I am tired of hiding in the dark

Wondering what the warmth of the sun feels like

Imagining what it means to throw my head back

And inhale the freshness of the evening breeze

I am sick of the glimpses I see when I dare to poke my head out

It leaves me more distraught than I was

And rather than quell the yearning

It fans it into a roaring inferno of need

I am tired of placing my head over my heart

And telling my heart to be still

No, I am not going to stop my heart from beating

From pulsing and its life giving flow

I am coming out

Breaking through the thin veil

Dropping the façade and done hiding

I am gay!

I am a butterfly,

No longer a worm despised and weak

I was born to roam free

And not to be wrapped in a cocoon

I am gay,

Full of cheer and warmth

Colorful and bright

And coaxing giggles from amused children

I am gay

I am full of life

Spreading my wings

Taking my flight to heights untold

Konga

Spirituality and sensuality

Brother Chukwudi knelt down by his bedside, his chin resting on both elbows and eyes shut tightly. His lips were moving but no words came out, just a rapid intake of air, which he held and let out slowly. He could not tell how long he had been kneeling down, thirty, forty minutes? He wondered. He couldn’t form a word past the lump in his throat. His mind was in overdrive as several thoughts struggled for supremacy.

He could not fathom what God had just told him. It simply was unacceptable and he could not bring himself to dwell on it but his mind had a mind of its own and would not be detracted from thinking about it, even if it meant considerable distress to him.

He had been reading his bible earlier that night, like every other night in the past ten years since he became a born again Christian. The bible passage for the night was Acts chapter twelve; it had been chapter eleven the previous night. His goal was to finish the bible again that year, which would make it the seventh year running that he had read the bible from cover to cover. This was one thing that gave him great pride when he was challenging his fellow church executives members in the weekly meetings.

He had felt the familiar nudging, as he was about to delve into the passage following a short prayer for inspiration and a new revelation from the now familiar passage.

‘‘Read the book of songs of Solomon tonight’’ the still small voice had said.

He had been puzzled. His face had creased in a frown. He couldn’t understand why he had to be led to that particular book. It was not on the list of his favorite bible books and he often times skipped it. It was too un-spiritual for him. He often looked down at those mushy brothers who quoted from it to support their claims of love to a sister. Grudgingly, he had opened to the book, not wanting to disobey the voice of God, the memory of the last time he had done so still fresh in his memory.

After struggling through the first chapter, he had begun to wonder if he had heard right. What possible revelation could God want to show him from this highly sensual book? The only verse he knew by heart in the whole book was the one about the lily of the valley and the rose of Sharon, terms that had been used to describe Christ. He had closed his eyes briefly and prayed for inspiration and revelation.

As he opened his eyes, his eyes had fixed on the fifth verse.



I am black but comely, o ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of kedar, as the curtains of Solomon


Unbidden, the image of sister Kemi had filled his mind, and she was smiling at him, and saying the words ‘’I am black and comely’’. His heartbeat had picked up pace and his palms had become sweaty.

He had been perplexed. The last time he had felt something like that was when he had first set eyes on sister veronica. The feelings had never left since then. He had thought it strange to feel that way for a sister, especially when he had caught himself thinking how it would feel like to kiss her full rounded lips and had engaged in a three day fasting just to purge himself of the fleshly, carnal feelings.

When the feelings had not left, he had begun to think that it was God telling him that sister veronica was his wife and he had even been planning on telling her. He would have, if he had been able to summon the courage to walk up to her. His only challenge had been what to say to her.

He had shaken his head to clear them of the wandering thoughts and tried to focus on the bible passage at hand. He wondered what was wrong with him. He had never allowed any thought to distract him from reading the bible in all the years he had become a Christian.

He had closed his eyes to offer up a prayer of forgiveness for allowing his thoughts to stray while God was trying to speak to him. This time it had been clear.

‘‘She is the one son, the one that I have chosen for you; your helpmeet’’ it was the familiar still small voice.

He hadn’t needed specifics; he had known the ‘’she’’ the voice was referring to.



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The Legend of the Red Sea

                                              

A cloud of fire, that reassuring sign of the divine presence, brilliantly lighted the night sky. But it wasn't so reassuring now. Panic was written on so many faces, and even the nonchalant laughter and giggling of the children was absent, everyone understood the gravity of the situation.

There was a storm brewing and not just from the raging sea ahead but from the hoof beats behind and the noises of the chariots. By morning, the red sea would be a shade darker, stained with the blood of thousands.

There was chaos everywhere and a riot was brewing, and Moses was at the centre of it all. Many were talking of stoning him. He was a deceiver, coming to them in the name of Yahweh and telling blatant lies.

Why would God deliver them out of the Egyptian oppression only to have them killed in the wilderness? It just didn't add up. Moses wanted fame, and he had conned them. Only his plan wasn't foolproof, they were stuck in between two certain death, neither better than the other in its power and violence. Ahead of them was the vastness of the red sea, waiting to drown them and behind was pharaoh's army riding towards them in fury. On either side mountains hedged them in.

Moses was rattled. He had been anxious in the past ten days that the Lord had told him to take the route that led to the red sea. He had been wondering how they were going to cross the red sea. A tiny part told him of the possibility of pharaoh raising his army in pursuit, and that they would be trapped with nowhere to run.

He was now faced with his worst nightmare. They were indeed trapped. He looked at the multitude and shook his head in despair. None of the men had been trained for war and worse still, they had no weapons whatsoever. It had been a deliberate act of the Egyptians, to prevent any insurgencies. They were like sheep being led to the slaughter.

Why had Yahweh chosen to lead them through this way? He mused for the umpteenth time. He looked around and saw Aaron trying to calm the multitude, and was gesticulating with his hands. The people seemed to be listening to him for some were nodding their heads. But for how long could Aaron keep them from violence he thought despondently.

’God, why me?’ He thought, ‘I am incapable of leading these people. Right from the first day I talked to them, I had been facing rejection from them. What did you see in me?’ The Egyptian armies were drawing nearer, the sound of hoof beats were getting louder.

Unsure of what to do, Moses fell on his face. He opened his mouth to pray but no sounds came. He didn't have the words to say. Surely God would not have sent him to deliver the Israelites from bondage if he had no plans for them. God had told Abraham their father that he was going to make him a mighty nation and that cannot happen if they all died tonight. It was his covenant to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob that he was honoring by delivering them from bondage. Suddenly he knew words to say.

''God, deliver your people from the hands of the Egyptians; remember your covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You promised that their seed would inherit the gentile nations. Save us this day, O God''. He said each word with increasing confidence and conviction. God honors his words and He would not back down now.

''Why are you crying unto me'' it was God speaking to him. He was puzzled.

‘‘Because you told me to go and bring your people out of the land of Egypt, and I have done everything you asked me to do. But now the Egyptians are after us to kill us'' he replied   

''speak to the children of Israel that they should go forward''

’Forward?’ He thought confused. Forward was towards the red sea. Would God actually lead them through the red sea? Maybe the red sea would dry up or it would solidify and become ice. As he thought about it, his heart soared. There was nothing impossible for the Lord to do. Had he not seen a bush on fire yet not burning? Had God not caused darkness in the whole land of Egypt but not in Goshen where the Israelites lived? Yes, he was the creator of the earth and there was nothing impossible for him to do.

He stood up with a lighter heart. God has spoken and it was time to act. He moved towards the camp where Aaron was still talking to the men gathered around him. They were the elders, heads of clans and tribes. They were not as receptive to what Aaron was saying as before. He gently tapped Aaron, who stepped aside.

‘‘Stand still and see the salvation of the lord which he will show you today'' he sad to them '' the Egyptians that you see today, you will see them no more forever''

Something about the way he was talking attracted more people to him, and he was talking louder now for them to hear.

''The lord has instructed me that we should break camp and move forward towards the sea'' he faced the leaders and told them to go and hurry their men. There was an air of excitement in the air, and there was a bustle of activities as sacks were packed and tents brought down. Many were talking animatedly and wondering what lay ahead.

Moses moved away from the camp towards the sea. There was a wind blowing from the sea towards the land and made the air cool, and he could taste the salt in the air. He took a deep breath and wondered at the awesomeness of God. Times like this he was humbled to be the one God has chosen to lead his people. It was not easy but it was rewarding.

The assembly looked up to him and hung on his every word. It was too much power that could intoxicate any man. The voices in the camp were a faint noise by now. He stretched his rod with his right hand towards the sea just as God had told him to. He was excited to see how God was going to lead them through the red sea. He closed his eyes and prayed.

As he stood there with eyes closed, he felt power surge through him and then a strong wind began to blow, and seemed to come from the rod in his hands. God was moving and he was doing that through him. His eyes remained closed.

By the time he opened his eyes, it was dawn and the day was getting bright. What he saw amazed him. He had been expecting something spectacular but not this.

The waters of the red sea were parted and in the middle was dry land, the ocean sand. The waters on either side were standing erect like a wall, only they weren't frozen but were actually moving but in different directions. It was a wonder to watch. He didn't know how long he stood there gawking.

He returned to the camp quickly and barked instructions to the elders of the tribes to lead their people towards the sea. By now the day was brighter and people could see each other's faces clearly. That was when the people saw it.

Gasps escaped their lips and they stood transfixed. Moses and Aaron had to urge then forward. The children raced themselves to the path while mothers shouted and ran after them, and then the elders and then the whole multitude.

Moses noticed that something was not right but he couldn't place it. Maybe it was sleep deprivation he thought. And then he knew it; the pillar of cloud that normally guides them was nowhere to be seen. Before setting camp, it was the cloud that stops, and at the time of breaking camp, the cloud lifts and is always in front but not today. Then Moses saw it, it had lifted and stayed at the rear.

He smiled. It was acting as a shield for the Israelites as they crossed the red sea and keeping the Egyptians from getting close. He waited for the last man to cross before crossing so that he was just in front of the cloud. He had assigned Aaron to take the lead alongside the elders. Passing through the dry land, he could not but touch the wall of waters on both sides and was amazed. His hands dipped into the waters and he felt the currents. God indeed was great.

On the other side of the sea, Moses stood looking at the path they had taken and to his dismay, he saw the Egyptians crossing the red sea too.

‘This is not happening’ he thought frantically. The others had seen it too and were also pointing. Then God spoke to him to stretch his hands towards the sea again. And he did.

*********************************************************************************

Pharaoh and his host were dumbfounded. They couldn't believe what they were seeing, a path right in the middle of the sea. His men told him to give up, the god of the Israelite was powerful and with all the plagues that he had rained on them, it was better they didn't attempt crossing the red sea.

Pharaoh was adamant, his heart was hardened, he needed the Israelites back and he would get them at all cost. He ordered his men to charge forward, he himself at the head.

Then at the middle, his chariot bucked, and was slowing down. Impatiently, he cracked his whip on the horses' back thinking they were terrified of the water body but they didn't move faster. Just then, one of his generals raised an alarm, the chariot wheels had gone off, and not only his but others as well.

That was when the fear gripped him full force and his heart started beating faster. This was real trouble.

There was general panic amongst his men and they were wide eyed with fear. It was finally time to admit defeat; he was no match against the Israelite god. He gave a command to his men to turn back to dry land. And then the worst happened.

He knew it before he saw it. The crashing sound of water. He had heard it before, at the waterfalls. When he looked back, his fears were confirmed, the water was congealing together again and was starting at the other side where the Israelites were. He barked an order to the men to retreat but their speed was impeded by the lack of wheels on the chariots. He told them to leave the chariots and flee on foot.

He felt bad, he had led them on and they had followed him willingly. They had been loyal to him and now his arrogance and haughtiness was going to get them killed. He lifted up his face to the sky and gave a roar.

*********************************************************************************

The Israelites could not believe what they were seeing. Jehovah truly was a warrior. As the waters congealed and drowned the fleeing Egyptians, they shouted in a loud voice and whooped. It was a roar of praise. The Egyptians were no more. They were free, just as He has promised.

As the shouting subsided, the crowd noticed Moses lying face down on the earth and as the whole multitude joined him, his voice sounded loud and clear and broke out in a song

''Who is like unto you O Lord among the gods? Who is like you, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?''

   

Love Triangle

Love triangle

Can a guy be in love with more than one lady? This is the question on my mind as I enter my house from a friend’s house.

Lately, I have begun to see her as more than a friend. I feel good when I am around her and a sense of loss when I have to be away or leave. There is this warm, tender feeling and that ache that needs her presence and wants to be with her always. I want to hold her and play with her fingers and feel her head on my shoulders as she snuggles close. I want to feel her hands on my chest as she curls up beside me. And I want to kiss her so badly! That is the urge that I find so irresistible.

All this feelings would have been welcome save for one tiny detail. I have a girlfriend. We have been seeing each other for one year plus now and I totally love her. She is the first girl that I can be myself with. I don’t have to pretend or try to please her. I can dance freely (and trust me, I do not know how to dance, I totally have two left feet) and do my funny faces. She makes me laugh and we play rough plays together. Plus, she loves me to pieces. She gives freely and totally likes my friends. She is the perfect girlfriend. Now, that is not a tiny detail, it is a big deal.

I have been trying to squash that tiny spark of affection that I feel for my friend. I try to call my girlfriend more and get more intimate but there is a part of me that doesn’t find joy unless I have seen my friend. The part that misses her and longs for her. Now I do not know whether these feelings are love or crush but I know that they cannot be good, they might be the beginning of a very bad blow on my relationship. Worse, I could cheat on my girlfriend and I do not want to even consider the implication of that.

I believe firmly in faithfulness to one partner, staying together ‘’till death do us part’’. Even if I am not legally married to her, I have made a commitment to her and I like to think that I am the kind of man that sticks to his promises. So what do I do?

The logical thing to do will be to withdraw from my friend. It sounds so easy but it isn’t that easy. She is my study partner and we study together daily. In the course of our friendship, she has come to trust me and opened up to me a great deal. She has told me things she hadn’t told any other person and that makes her feel free with me. Withdrawing from her won’t be easy.

Trying the subtle approach is definitely out of the question. She will notice and I would have no ready answer to tell her why I am withdrawing. Telling her about my growing attraction to her is also not an option. She is very sensitive and that would hurt her deeply because she has often said that she is happy that she has finally found a guy that she can relate with who is not her friend for selfish benefits and who is not looking to date her. Telling her would mean that she has misjudged me and that I am just like every other guys. That would hurt me too, because I never meant to fall for her.

Looking back now, I realize that I probably should not have moved so close to her. When we first met, I had a huge crush on her and would catch myself daydreaming of engaging in a lip lock with her somewhere at work but away from prying eyes. I think it must have been the crush that made me go close to her. But the crush had faded or so I thought and now it is coming to haunt me.

On the other hand, if I do not do something, I fear a situation when the attraction will become mutual. Now, I think she sees me as a friend and a brother but every now and then I catch a gesture that is not in keeping with that depiction of me. Linking fingers, playing with my toes and touches here and there. Maybe it is just me that is interpreting these that way, seeing as I am already hooked. Or maybe not, these are things she wasn’t doing before.

I know what I must do. I must talk to myself, in candid words. I cannot be attracted to her. Nothing can ever happen between us. I must remain faithful to my girlfriend. I love my girlfriend.

Although there are arguments to these words in my mind, I must keep speaking them till all the dissenting voices are silenced. Yes, I know that I cannot control whom I am attracted to especially if she has all the qualities I want in a life partner, but I can control what I do with the attraction. It is true that nobody says nothing can happen between us but I choose to love my girlfriend especially as I have no indication to leave her. I feel at peace when I picture my future with her, and love is not all about feelings and attractions. I said I love my girlfriend, not only because of the warm, mushy feelings but because I chose to, and I choose her all over again.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I know what I will do today. I will make efforts to remember how blessed I am to have a girl that loves me and that I love, and to have a friend that trusts me enough to share her best kept secrets with me. I will make effort to truncate anything that threatens to betray that trust. It will not be easy but by God, I will try my utmost best.

Steamy.....random things

‘’make love to me’’

Her eyes were locked with his and their hands were entwined. Her heart was thudding against her chest and she was shocked as he at what she had said. Her palms were becoming moist. A slight shiver passed through her, both from fear and from the excitement that had begun to wash over her.

He noticed the shiver. ‘’are you cold?’’ he asked, his voice a whisper, hoarse and raspy. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed convulsively.

She shook her head. He rubbed his hands over her arms and she shuddered. The path his hand trailed on her skin was singing with electricity.

‘’make love to me’’ she repeated again. Her voice was hoarse, filled with emotion. She smiled at him, a slow seductive smile. He turned towards her, and leaned forward to kiss her. She closed her eyes, parting her lips slightly. It seemed to take forever before his lips found hers.

He was unsure at first, this was his first. The kiss was tentative, light and sensual. Her lips were soft and full and soon he found himself wanting more.

She opened her eyes and locked her gaze on him. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. His eyes were a whirlpool of emotions. She saw longing, adoration and lust. She uttered a groan and pulled him to herself and kissed him deeply.

He was stunned for a few seconds, his brain slow to react. Then he was kissing her back, matching her rhythm. His hands moved to her hair and stroked it gently. She gave a soft moan and pressed herself to him. He caressed her back and arm and held her face in his hands. He nibbled on her lips and kissed her face and then throat. She moaned.

She unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hand over his chest. His chest was smooth and she played with the few tufts of hair. She caressed his nipples and felt them harden and she rubbed them gently. His breath caught in his throat and his breathing became shallow. His response drove her wild. She leaned forward and kissed his nipple, sucking it gently. He uttered a low growl.

He laid her on the bed and proceeded to undress her. He was in no hurry, trailing kisses over every inch of skin exposed. She was left only in her underwear and was arching upwards. He paused to run his eyes over her body and she felt heady. She saw he adored her body. He slowly caressed her body and stopped at her breast and rubbed her nipples with his thumb and fore finger. Her body was hot all over and a thin film of sweat coated her skin. Waves of pleasure rolled over her.

She reached out and caressed his hardness contained in his boxers. ‘’I want you inside me now’’ she whispered, holding his gaze.

He positioned himself in between her legs and she guided him inside her. He entered slowly, stretching her fully. She gasped with pleasure.

His movements were slow, each thrust sending a wave of pleasure up her spine to her brain. It was a sweet torture. He was knowing her, savouring her and taking his time in doing so. His hands were entwined with hers above her head and his thumb was caressing her palms gently. She was going to die from pleasure, she thought. He never removed his eyes from her and he seemed to be looking into her soul, as he brought her close to the brink.

She began to pant, and lift her hips upward to meet his thrusts. Her legs were wrapped around his waist. He was panting too, and his thrusts were faster. He leaned down to kiss her and let out a groan as he climaxed, taking her with him over the edge with his name on her lips.

Ancient Diaries

I stopped looking at Him just long enough to be aware of the raging sea and rising storm.

Then I stopped trusting and started to fear. I couldn't remember what His face looked like, couldn’t remember who He was or what He could do.

That was when I started sinking and I knew without a shadow of doubt that I had reached my end, I was looking at my grave.

What happened next, I didn't know, call it reflex or habit. I heard myself calling out to Him. Why wouldn't I? It’s been only His name on my lips for quite a while now.

'Save me!' I heard a voice that sounded not like my own, it was mixed with fear and apprehension.

Then all of a sudden, He was there. I couldn't tell how. The last I saw Him, He was afar off, and the next moment He was there; reaching out to me and pulling me up.

I had been saved! And I was walking on what was supposed to be my grave; the raging waters now calm were solid under my foot and I walked by His side to the boat.

Then I understood: 'fear not, it is I'

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I walked along on life's pathway, feeling confident and self-assured.

Why shouldn't I? I had slain my 'tens of thousands' and had waxed rich and exceedingly great.

Maidens sighed at the mention of my name, kings trembled at the mere thought of me.

I was walking upon my high places because the Almighty was shining His countenance on me. I became used to it and I may have taken His favour for granted...

And then He hid his face! Then began trouble; waves and billows and the depths of the sea washed over me.All the memories of my glory days were gone in an instant, and I was reduced to a laughing stock, trodden under foot and made a target for those that handled stones.

Then I knew that in His favour is life and in the lifting up of His countenance is life everlasting. So I cried to Him, and used the only argument that I knew would work for me-praise.

‘What good would I be if I went to the grave?' I prayed, 'lift up your countenance and shine on me' I pleaded.

Now I know better. Each and every day of my life will I bless the Lord, for he is good and his mercies endure forever. I charge my soul to bless Him and not to forget His benefits.

Now I live to praise Him.
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Thrice I had an encounter with Him. Thrice I denied Him His honour and failed to acknowledge His lordship.

Twice He pardoned me and gave me another chance to acknowledge Him, but I was too full of myself to see anyone besides myself much less entertain the thought of a being higher than myself. I was a law, a god.

My hand had conquered nations, my hands had built an empire that was a joy of many nations, a wonder of the world. They thought my father had done great things but I had surpassed in glory all that were before me.

These made my heart to be lifted up within me, I had forgotten (or chose to forget) that all good things come from above, from the father of lights.

Then I uttered the words that changed my life forever...

Seven times passed over me, seven seasons of being wet with the dew, seven years spent alone, bowed down, reduced to nothing. Seven years

Then I acknowledged that the Most High rules in the kingdom of men and gives it to whomsoever He wills.

Now as my glory and honour and dominion are being restored to me, I praise and honour Him.

Now I know that only He is worthy to be praised and extolled.

Gods at war- the origin of the legend

Dagon is fallen

A gasp escaped the mouth of the wizened old man that stood at the threshold of the shrine that housed the philistine god. The man was trembling and he looked around for something to hold on to. He had been the priest of Dagon the powerful since his youthful days, and nothing had prepared him for the sight that was before him now.

He tried to pinch himself, hoping that this was a very vivid nightmare, the kind that happened to one when smitten with the fever. And he had been having the symptoms for the past three days, though it hadn’t be so severe as to cause something like this. Maybe old age had robbed him of the resilience he once had, he thought. But alas, this was no dream; this was real, and it was disturbing.

Dagon was fallen to the ground, but if that had been all, it would not have been a problem. Now that he thought about it, what happened yesterday was no coincidence. He had not thought much about it then, but now, it all made sense.

He had come in at dawn like he had in the last thirty years to make the morning sacrifice when he had seen Dagon lying face down on the earth right in front of the ark of covenant, the god of the Israelite that had been captured. He had thought that the lads that had brought in the ark must have knocked it off in their excitement after the victory over the Israelites.

The defeat was a historical one, the stuff of myths and legends. The fearsome ark of the Israelites that had overthrown so many kingdoms in the past was powerless to save them this time around and had been captured too. Maybe the Israelite god had been given too much credit.

The Israelites had actually given so much reverence to their god. The ark was a beauty to behold. It shone so brightly reflecting the sun’s brilliance and could not be looked at directly. It would be a prized possession, a worthy gift to Dagon.

Then he had simply put the god back in its place and had had a fleeting thought about how miniature it was compared to the ark of covenant. He had quickly banished the thought from his mind, while sending an appeasing look to Dagon, lest his thoughts be discovered and punished with instant death. He however had not been able to stop these thoughts all through the day- how awesome the ark of covenant was.

Now it dawned on him what had happened. It was a clash of power between the two gods and Dagon had lost. Yesterday had been a preamble, it had simply fallen face down before the Israelite god but today it had been crushed.

Strewn some few feet from where the god was lay its head, turned upward and facing the ceiling. For a few seconds, he thought he caught a look of anguish on its face, and shook his head to clear it. The two hands and feet were scattered across the room as if it was flung in anger, and were in pieces. The only part that remained on the pedestal was the stump. It was a gory sight.

The ark was gleaming brightly as the early morning sun shone on it, and it looked majestic and magnificent.

It would later be written in the annals of history, of the words of the God of the Israelites

“I am God, and besides me there is no other”

And believers in the God of Israel would tell the story in songs:

“Dagon fell before the ark of covenant in days of yore, so shall all my problems fall before him today’’

Gods at war 1

Epilogue

It was in the fortieth year of Eli’s reign as judge in Israel, the children of Israel were getting ready to go to war with the philistines. There had been a long-standing enmity between the two nations and the truce had been broken. There had been a fight in the Israelites’ border on the South that resulted in the death of two men from the philistines, and their King was eager to slay thousands of Israelites in revenge.

He would not hear of talks of peace or be appeased with gifts. The previous victories of the Israelites were still fresh in his memory; he had lost his father and two brothers, and he had escaped with numerous bodily but thankfully no fatal wounds. His friend had not been so lucky, and had lost an arm.

Since then, he had been plotting his revenge and the Israelites had given him the perfect opportunity. Unknown to them, he had spies amongst them, his men that had disguised as strangers from another land and had settled among them, and over the space of five years had given him an exact picture of what was happening in the nation.

The Jews were known for their hospitality and openness to strangers and that had provided the freedom his men had to spy out the land without fear of discovery. Some had even married Jewish women and acquired land. He knew exactly where their strength lay and the best way to attack. The Israelites were lawless; they had no king or ruler, Yahweh-their god was their King, they boasted. Everyone did what pleased him and a judge-Eli, who according to his sources was an old man of eighty years, living in Shiloh and serving as priest, settled any scores or dispute.

He would never understand the Jews, and why they were so arrogant. He also knew better than to underestimate them. That had been his father’s mistake, and he had paid for it with his life.

He was coming against them with all his army, but he wasn’t going to pitch them in the battlefront all at once, he would divide them into three, with two parts coming from the flanks. The Israelites did not know what was in store for them.

When the battled were joined at the battlefront, the Israelite army was having the upper hand and the philistines were falling down in their scores. Then the King signaled that the trumpet be blown and the philistine army began to beat a retreat.

Unsuspectingly, the Israelite army pursued them only to realize that they had been ambushed and were trapped between two armies. It was a bitter defeat; four thousand of the Israelites died and many were injured. Israel had not recorded such a defeat since the days of Joshua. Something must be wrong.

Later that day, the elders of Israel gathered to deliberate. The room was filled with silence and all heads were bowed in grief. In each person’s eyes were reflected the question that was on the tip of every man’s tongue but which no one had the answer to: what went wrong?

Finally, Salmon the eldest spoke up. He opined that it was because the Ark of the Covenant had not followed them to the battle field, was the reason they had suffered such humiliation at the hands of the philistines; the uncircumcised, he spat with disgust. He reminded the others that the Ark of the Covenant had always been taken to the battlefield for every of Israel’s battle till then. They had neglected God, and he too had left them alone, he concluded.

Several heads nodded in agreement, and a unanimous decision was made to send for the Ark of Covenant to be brought from the temple in Shiloh, and to be accompanied by the priests.

It took great persuading to get Eli, the High Priest, to allow the Ark of the Covenant to be removed from its place. In his forty years as High Priest, the Ark had not moved from its place and access to it was once in a year. The messengers had prevailed upon him and he had agreed. Thus the Ark made its way to the camp of the Israelites in Aphek.

When the Ark of the Covenant entered the Israelites’ camp, there was great joy and shouting and many stared wide-eyed in amazement at its beauty. No one aside the High Priest had access to it and that was once a year. Now it was but a few feet from them glistering in all its glory. It was made of acacia wood, and overlaid with the purest of gold, and ringed on all its four corners where staves of wood also overlaid with gold were attached so that it could be borne on the shoulders of the priests.

Once it had been set up in a tent, the priests sacrificed to the Lord, offerings of sheep and ram and oxen. The people shouted as the smoke of the incense rose to the sky; God was now in their midst and the philistines were going to be annihilated. There was dancing and a loud feast from the evening till the early hours of the morning. They couldn’t wait for the morning to come to draw out the battle lines.

The battle lasted three days, and the Israelites were defeated. Thirty thousand people were killed and the Ark of Covenant was taken captive, after the two priests, Hophni and Phinehas were killed.

A sacrilege had been committed, an abomination. The people wailed and poured ashes on their heads. The implication of the captured ark was more daunting than the loss of lives. Their grief knew no bounds; the symbol of their God had been taken away.

The news of the captured ark was the death of Eli. He had been sitting on a stool when he received the news and he fell off and broke his neck. The result was fatal, he died more from a broken heart than from a broken neck, the glory had departed from Israel, and its light had been put out.

Even the newborn felt the impact, Eli’s daughter-in-law delivered before her time and in her dying breath named her son “Ichabod”--the glory had departed. He would grow to be a reminder of that black day when the light of the nation was snuffed out.

Oppression

I am more than gold
But you made me feel worthless
My price is far above rubies
But you made me believe
That i am valueless

No more shall you have that power
No more will you oppress
No more will i yield to your
Every machinations
For i know who i am now

I was your slave
I lost my way
I was subject to your whims
But not anymore,
I know who i am now

I couldn't even if i wanted to
My heart won't let me
It is beating with passion
Excited at this new knowledge
Of my worth and value.

IMMUTABLE

'' That by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us'' {Hebrews 6:18, KJV)

Immutable means incapable of change i.e unchangeable. similar verse is found in Numbers 23:11 ''God is not a man that he should lie...''

It is impossible for God to lie and this fact is immutable, not susceptible to change. This fact has several meanings and import for us.

1. We have a strong consolation that whatsoever God has spoken concerning us or what He has spoken to us about His plans and purpose for us will surely come to pass because it is impossible for God to lie.

''Not one jot or tittle of the law shall pass till all be fulfilled'' (Matthew 5:18, KJV) Jesus himself said. God told Jacob ''i will not leave you till I have done what I have promised you."(Genesis 28:15, NLT)

God stands by his word. It is said in the scriptures that He honors His word above His name. He is his word, and His word is Him. His word carries His character-unchanging and everlasting.

It is impossible for God to lie! Whatever He has spoken to you, spoken concerning you will surely come to pass. ''The vision is for an appointed time....wait for it...it will surely come'' (Habakkuk 2:3, KJV)

2. We can be rest assured that every word of the scriptures are true. The scriptures talks about itself '' All scriptures was given by inspiration...Holy ghost inspired holy men to speak and write'' (2nd Timothy 3:16,KJV; 2nd Peter 1:21).

The scriptures was given by God, it is the word of God and it is immutable. God cannot lie, the scriptures cannot lie. Every word of it will come to pass. God cannot change, the scriptures cannot and will not change. Just as God remains the same throughout the generations, so also the word of God will not change despite the changing times and seasons and fashion and opinions of men.

So, if it is so, why then are we not taking the scriptures seriously? It is impossible for God to lie! That fact is immutable.

Every command is binding, every instruction is to be followed, every law is to be obeyed. Every promise is true and every punishment is real. We should stick to the word of God, read it always and obey it to the letter. Every single word counts and is important. ''not one jot or tittle of the law shall pass till all be fulfilled''

God bless!

What it means to be the head of the home

I was at a marriage ceremony the other day and at the reception,the chairman of the occasion said something that initiated a cascade of thoughts which I'd soon disclose. I really hope you learn a thing or two; this issue is really important to individual and collective happiness.

In his speech, the chairman said to the groom ''you are the head of the family, please act like one''. That got me thinking. 

The Man is the 'head' of the family. What does that mean? We could start by looking at the structures in the head.

First the eyes, they see the direction where the body is headed. They see danger ahead and move the body away from it. They are the agent through which we appreciate the world; beauty and color is seen through the eyes. The man as the head is the one to be a watchman, to always be on guard and shield his family from external forces wanting to destroy his home. When there is trouble and everyone else is down and depressed, he should be able to see hope in the horizon and steer them to its shore. He should be a visionary, the one that charts the course for the other members of the family to follow. He is a goal getter, not a never-do-well, or a no-future-ambition (NFA) kind of man. The other members look to him for direction and guidance.

Next the ears. Sights and sounds often go together, however, sounds sometimes can be more important than sight. The preservation instincts in animals are dependent more on sounds than any other sense. An antelope would not wait to see the tiger before fleeing, its system has been designed to rely on sounds. Furthermore, instructions are heard with the ears. The man must have a sharp and discerning mind and also be prudent. His priority is the protection of his family and he puts them before all else. He must be given to learning and seek knowledge, he must be enterprising and industrious.

Following closely is the sense of smell. Many a danger has been averted by a well developed sense of smell. Still on the senses, for doctors,they understand that the sense of smell can be a clue to making certain diagnosis: the fishy odor of certain infections, the mousy odor of uremia, the sweet acetone smell of diabetic keto acidosis.

The man that is to be the head must be very sensitive and able to decipher when things are going wrong in his house. When his wife is unhappy or the children are passing through certain challenges, he must be able to sense it and encourage them to open up to him, and help them through it all. He must also be approachable and open and not the cold, aloof, always hiding behind the newspaper type.

The brain is housed in the head and is the 'central processing unit' of the body. Nothing happens in the body without the control or knowledge of the brain. It controls the body, it protects the body, determines the course of the body, regulates body processes. In short there's no life without the brain and it's all housed in the head.

The man as head is supposed to be around, to be involved in the rearing of the child and must be aware of all the happenings in the home. He must be responsible for any and every decision that is made in the home. He is the champion, the protector, the provider, the guide, the confidant and the leader. That is who the real 'head' is.

Now that's a great responsibility, one not to be taken lightly. The thing with most men of nowadays is that they use the phrase 'men are the head of the family' without really fully grasping the weight or full import of those words. The men often use it to assert their authority over the ladies but the truth is most times they fail as 'heads'!

They often fail in their responsibilities and-get ready for this-that is why marriages fail most times. When the head fails in its responsibility to the body, then the body cannot be healthy. So also when the husband as the head fail in his responsibilities, the marriage fails. The head doesn't give up! It's the last structure (because it houses the brain) to give up at death; there is no death without brain death.

Men wake up! Do your duties and do it well. Save those marriages, the ladies are depending on you to do it. They need you to save those marriages,they depend on you. Stop shifting those blames, rise up, be the man you are called to be. Be the head and don't just bear the title.

Easter Story

  AD 30, Pilate’s palace

Last watch of the night

The night was eerily silent. The air was still and the normal chirping of the cicadas was absent.

The night was cold but she was covered in sweat. The dreams were always the same; since the night before the crucifixion. She dreaded going to bed nowadays- the dreams were horrifying.

She looked at her husband lying beside her; he was fast asleep, snoring lightly. She resisted the urge to wake him up; he would dismiss her as usual. If only he had listened to her and not bowed to pressure from the Jewish leaders.

She was sure the man was innocent, and was only brought before her husband because the Jewish leaders were afraid to lose their hold on the people. He was killed out of sheer jealousy, and her husband had aided them.  

High priest palace

Last watch of the night

Caiaphas stared at the fire, his mind far away. A thought has been disturbing him since the crucifixion of the blasphemer. What if he truly was the son of God like he claimed to be?

Strange happenings had been occurring since the evening of the crucifixion. Could these things be signs? The implication of orchestrating the death of God’s son was enormous and he could not bear to think of them.

But then if he had been the Messiah like he claimed to be, he shouldn’t have died at the hands of the gentiles; the Messiah was supposed to deliver them from the oppression of the gentiles.  

The more he thought about it, the more he became sure that even if he had not been the Messiah, the man was definitely a righteous man, only that could explain the strange occurrences.

He was experiencing what he hadn’t experienced in a long time - remorse, and a twinge of guilty conscience.        


Golgotha

First hour of the day

The sky was turning gray, dawn was coming. The cold was biting. Claudius rubbed his hands together and placed them over the dying fire. He looked at the stone in front of the sepulcher and wondered about the man that was lying inside. He was no ordinary man. He had never believed in the claims of the Israelites about their God; only one God who was creator of all.

He had always seen the Jews as proud and arrogant and he hated them because of their claim to belong to the one and true God who created heaven and earth and would refrain from worshipping other gods; they even acted superior because they claimed to be the chosen race. But events of the last few days have begun to change his mind.

The man they had crucified was definitely a righteous man and even his claim of being the son of God might not be far from the truth. He kept this to himself however and dared not share it with his friends who were huddled around the fire, cracking anti-Semitic jokes.

The events that happened next were a blur- one minute he was sitting around the fire with friends, the next he was flat on the floor. There were flashes of lightning in the sky, rolling thunder and the ground was quaking. He could hear the fearful voices of his comrades.

The sky became brilliantly lit, and a being descended from the sky, his features were indescribable. He went to the mouth of the tomb and rolled the stone away like they weighed nothing. Somewhere at the back of his mind, his military training was telling him to resist but he was paralyzed and couldn’t move- he just stared.

Then something even more amazing happened. The man they had buried three days ago was walking out of the tomb, and was shining like the sun! And the terrible being that came from the sky was paying obeisance to him.

Just then Claudius heard movements to his right and saw that his men were fleeing. Suddenly, he could move again and before he knew what he was doing, he was on his feet and running too.  

Jerusalem

First hour of the day

Mary Magdalene was restless. She was pacing up and down the room. What was delaying the others? She mused.

Just then the door opened and Joanna and three others came in carrying the ointments they had prepared yesterday.

Without further delay, they set out towards the city gates. The city was just about waking up and very soon, the sounds of women going to the well would fill the streets. They hurried towards the gates which were just being opened.

Golgotha

Dawn  

Mary Magdalene was at the head of the procession and even as she was walking briskly, her mind was in overdrive. Her paramount thought was how they were going to move the stone that was set at the mouth of the tomb.

From her vintage point, she had seen that it took twenty soldiers to roll the stone to the mouth of the cave, and they were just a bunch of women. She was lost in thought that she did not notice until one of the women gasped.

When she looked at what the others saw, she was transfixed: the tomb was open.

Without thinking, she ran the remaining distance to the tomb and stopped just shy of the entrance. She stood there till the others arrived, and gathering her courage, went inside. The tomb was empty.

Jerusalem

Dawn

Peter was lying on the mat at the corner of the room, staring at the roof. While others slept, he hadn’t slept a wink.

To his right was john, he had had a restless sleep, talking in his sleep and tossing severally. Apparently, he was having nightmares about the crucifixion because he kept repeating ‘’yeshua yeshua”.

Peter envied his devotion to the master. If only he had been that strong, he wouldn’t have denied Him.

At the remembrance of that night, fresh tears came to his eyes- he had failed the master, just like the master predicted. If only he had been more watchful and heedful of the master’s warning. But now it was too late.

What troubled him most was why the master had allowed himself to be taken, beaten and crucified. Was he not the savior they had been expecting? Surely, he was the son of God, there was no doubt about that, he had seen too much to doubt that.

What happens now? He wondered. What was their fate? It had been three days now…
His thought was interrupted by the urgent knocking at the door. He frowned as he stood up to answer the door. Who could that be?

At the door, he was greeted by a group of wide eyed and breathless women, all speaking at once. He tried to follow them but he couldn’t.

The loud knocking had awakened the others and they now gathered behind him. They listened with open mouths as they listened to the accounts of the women.

Peter didn’t know what to believe. Who would have moved the body of the Master? That tomb was heavily guarded by the roman soldiers. He was going to have to see for himself before he believed what he was hearing.  

Golgotha

Dawn

Breathless, Peter bent over in front of the tomb. It was open alright. His lungs burned from the run. He was the last to arrive; the others were younger than him and so were faster. But none of them had entered- they were waiting for him.

After a few moments, he entered the tomb. It was empty. He scanned the room again not believing. The only thing in the tomb was the linen that had been wrapped around the master’s body at burial. Puzzled he left the tomb along with others.

Maybe the governor had given an order to remove his body from the sepulcher, definitely at the instigation of the high priest.

None noticed that Mary Magdalene wasn’t with them; they were too caught in their sorrow to notice.

Mary Magdalene sat at the entrance of the tomb, weeping. They had taken away the body of her Lord.

First they accused him wrongly, and then they sentenced him to a horrible death. Even in death, they wouldn’t let him be buried properly. They have dishonored him even in death.

Something caught her attention from the corner of her eye, and she looked into the tomb.

There appeared to be someone in there. She went into the tomb to find out and saw two men sitting down where the body of the Master had lain. The men wore shining apparel and their countenances were shining.  

“Why are you weeping woman?” they said to her

“They have taken away the body of my Lord” she replied “and I don’t know where they have taken it”

Just then another walked in. Who were these people? She thought. What were they doing here? Were they the ones that moved the body?

The man asked her the same question the two men asked her. She was losing her patience. She needed answers now.

“Tell me where you have taken him to and I will go and carry him” she said to the new man.

“Mary” the man said gently.

She looked at him sharply. How had he known her name?

And then recognition hit.

She hadn’t bothered to look at him before, that was why she didn’t recognize him.

There he was! And he was alive! Her Lord was alive! It took a while before her body reacted. She lunged at him.  

“Touch me not; I have not yet ascended to my Father” he told her, stopping her. “Go to my brethren, and tell them I ascend to my Father, and your Father; and to my God and your God”

And then He was gone.

For several moments Mary just stood there taking in the incident. The Lord has risen, and had first appeared to her even before ascending to heaven to appear before His Father- their Father. And He said to go tell His brethren- not friends anymore, not disciples, but brethren!  

Jerusalem, upper room

Dusk

The disciples were huddled together after supper, although only few had eaten. Many were talking in hushed tones.

The news of the Lord’s resurrection had spread to the disciples and they had all gathered together that evening.

Mary was the centre of attention, as many were gathered around her asking for more details about her encounter with the risen Lord.

Peter and the rest of the twelve, except Thomas were gathered together, and discussing. They were afraid of what the Jewish leaders would do should the news of the resurrection get to them. The doors had been locked from the inside and everybody had been ordered to stay indoors.

Then He was there.

“Peace be unto you” his voice rich and comforting. He looked into their eyes and could see despair and sadness, His heart ached for them. He could see disbelieve and fear in some; they thought he was a ghost.

He marveled at their unbelief. He showed them His hands and feet. He could see the joy and hope in their eyes as it slowly returned. His heart swelled. These were his brethren, beloved, chosen from among men to be sanctified unto His God.

Mount Olive

40days later

Jerusalem was filled with news of the Messiah’s resurrection; he who had been condemned to die had overcome death. But the high priest and Jewish leaders wanting to save face had bribed the soldiers to spread a lie that the disciples had stolen the body of Jesus in the middle of the night, and were now claiming he was resurrected.

The disciples were not bothered about this; in the past 40days, the Lord had been appearing to them severally and preparing them for the days ahead. They didn’t have Him with them always like before his crucifixion but he has promised them another- the comforter, His Spirit, the Holy Ghost, who will dwell with them and in them.
Now they were gathered together to witness his ascension into heaven, his mission fulfilled.

In death, he has birthed life- eternal life; in his life, he has given salvation and dominion- to reign as kings on earth.

So parting, he gave them his final charge and left a promise “Go make disciples of all nations” he charged them. “I am with you always even unto the end of the world” he promised

Then he began His ascension while they steadfastly looked up into heaven until they saw Him no more.

There was an eerie silence. Uncertain what to do they stared.

Then two angels appeared. “Men of Galilee” they said, “why are you all staring intently at the skies? This same Jesus who is taken up from you into heaven shall also come back in like manner as you have seen him ascend”


Happy Easter to all and sundry!

The Homecoming

I need my father. I finally acknowledge the fact. I had needed him since I went bankrupt, and found out that I had no friend, only parasites, latching on till I was sucked dry before moving on to their next victim.  

I need him now that i had become dry, withered and wilted, tossed by the winds of ill fate, my inheritance having taken up wings and flown far away and comfort now a mirage.  

I make my way home, along the familiar path I thought I wouldn't tread again, a broken man, but a wiser one. Now I know that he whose yam is big does not blow his horns.

I know what I must do, my pride will not get in the way. Grovel I must and wait upon my father  till he makes me one of his hired servants.  

I near home and bow my head, my eyes scorn me, my heart mocks me. How I had fallen from grace to grass! I will my legs to go on,  to take that next step, the step that brings me nearer home, nearer to redemption. This is my only hope.  

I look up startled at the sound of approaching footsteps, I was lost in thought and didn't hear them before. My heart picks up beat as I register the face before me. My mouth go dry and all my carefully rehearsed speeches vanishes. I realize I am not ready to meet him yet. I need more time.  

I open my mouth but nothing comes out, I close it and open it again but can't find the words. I give up and just stare.  

My mouth hang open and my hands remain limp at my side and I can't respond for shock. He is hugging me! My father is hugging me!  

His frown I expected, rejection I was prepared for but not this. Not his smile, not a hug, and definitely not the tears that are sliding down his eyes.  

I come undone and fall apart, all the tears I swore not to shed while I wallowed in penury come flooding and pour in torrents .

"Father" I croak, "I have sinned against you and against heaven, and I'm not worthy to be called your son".  I swallow a lump. "please make me one of your hired servants"  

I feel a lightness in my heart, it doesn't matter what happens next, I know things will be alright.  

He hugs me one more time, holds me at arms length and looks me over, and shakes his head slowly. My heart plummets, I am not welcome.  

I catch a twinkle in his eyes and his face breaks out in a slow smile, "Son, you look awful" he says and burst out laughing. I am stunned. Did he just call me son? Son?! My heart soar and I join in the laughter.  

He stops abruptly and frowns. I become confused. Have I done anything wrong? Did I misinterprete his laughter?  

He was speaking to one of the servants now "hurry, bring the best robe for my son and then kill the fattest cow, my son which was lost is found. My dead son is alive again!"  

I can't believe it. I don't deserve this. Several thoughts run amok in my mind, and one is loudest- this is a dream. Like the several others before it, where I dream of my father's forgiveness only to wake up the next morning feeling worse.     

The taste of butter and milk in my mouth is real, the feel of silk against my skin is definitely real, and the warmth of my father's hand over mine as we walk in the garden isn't imagined.  it is all real.  

I am home, and above all, I'm forgiven.